Past vs. Present...

Have you ever felt as though reality fails to measure up to your memories as you grow older? I certainly felt that way last night...

After an absence of 3 years from the clubbing scene, I decided it was time I rejoined the 'happening' party-goers and re-establish my presence in a club. After much cajoling and persuasion, my very reluctant boyfriend caved in and gave me the go-ahead. All geared up, I excitedly awaited Friday night and skimmed through the week like a zombie on drugs!

When Friday finally approached, I was ecstatic! I mean...it's been what? 3 years? I know, I know, I sound like a total 'kampung girl'. Just forgive me and go on reading kay?

Annnnnyyyywayyyy...I actually attended cell group and hoped it'd end sooner! Sad and bad, but true (feeling guilty now!). Immediately after cell, I rushed home, got changed, dabbed on some eyeshadow and literally ran to the car. The trip to the club, almost killed me! I was like, "Are we there yet? Are we? Are we?" Finally, after 30 minutes of my whining, we arrived. Bravely, I conjured up a facade that belied my excitement and cooly cruised into the club.

What a disappointment that was! Not only was the club almost empty, the lights were too bright and the music too soft! Fortunately, after an hour or so, the club began to fill up, the music started blarring, the lights were turned low and it felt like a real clubbing scene. Funnily enough, when that happened, I noticedI wasn't really into the swing of things! It just seemed so...dull! Don't get me wrong here, the company was great, the music was good and the enviroment was superb, but I just wasn't enjoying myself. It was then that I realised I had totally blown up the whole picture in my mind! That's what three years does to you! You keep piling and adding and colouring the picture til it gets so monstrous that anything being compared to it would pale in comparision!

I guess that's how life is isn't it? We remember the good, continually replaying it in our minds til at times, we find it so hard to face the not-so-pretty reality before us. It's always good to hold on to the good times, but when we start reconfiguring it to our liking, that's when the memories should be pushed backwards and the Present take center stage! Isn't it sad to think that we may miss out on the best life has to offer, just because we placed it along side our blown-up, distorted, unreal, "memories"?

Starting today, I'm going to live each day as it comes, despite what I've experienced in the past...